What Does Sex Addiction Help Look Like? – Part One

The best sex addiction help takes the long view.  What does it look like?  Does help look like an episode of Dr. Oz?  I hate to admit it, but I’ve developed a curiosity about these television episodes.  It amazes me how each episode takes a series of complex medical problems and finds very simple solutions to them.  Our culture has a stubborn insistence that all problems should be quickly solved.  I wonder to what extent this television program and others like it sustain this idea?  I wonder how a Dr. Oz episode would solve the illness of sexual addiction?  I wonder why they have not produced such an episode already?  The hard fact is that this problem is vastly underreported and extremely ignored in our culture. 

Did you know that 87 percent of sexual addicts report having other addictions?  Yes, so it seems reasonable to me that a good therapeutic assessment around substance abuse, eating disorders, or other known and accepted addictive disorders would include a simple diagnostic question like, “to what extent is your sexuality involved in your addiction?”  I suspect the responses would overwhelmingly lead practitioners to ask follow up questions that might illuminate why their patient or client is struggling with relapse or an inability to stop their unwanted compulsive behaviors.  Sexually compulsive problems contribute to relapses in other areas of addiction, and if it is not addressed, it is reasonable to expect that the client or patient will continue failing in their attempts to get better. 

The disease, sexual addiction, is now a major health care problem for our country.  Many health problems, family problems, and work problems are connected to sexual compulsions.  Did you know that the hours between 8 o’clock and 5 o’clock Monday through Friday is the period pornography is reportedly accessed most?  Think about how much work production is lost to pornography.  Think about the number of sex related medical problems that end up in our local emergency rooms and doctors offices.  Preliminary numbers suggest a staggering number of ER visits are related to sexual compulsions.  Think about how many children head out to school every morning with underlying angst, which they do not understand, about their parents’ fights around sexually compulsive issues?  The number is greater than anyone wants to admit.  We truly live in a culture ruled by denial about how serious, and common, this issue is becoming. 

I do believe that sexual addiction is a brain disease and I have a lot of science, good science, supporting my belief.  However, help will not come in a package of pills for this disease, nor will it come in a sixty-minute Dr. Oz episode.  Maybe someday it will.  That would be nice for many, many men and women suffering with sexual compulsions.  But until then, the very best help for them [you] is developing new and healthy brain pathways, dismantling old ones, and so developing decision-making competencies that give you the freedom to not sexually act out. 

Competency based therapy is not a new idea.  There are many therapies based on competency development.  Taking the competency based idea and pertinently organizing a series of well designed tasks around it, is showing excellent promise for those desiring to stop and be free from unwanted sexual compulsions.  That is what I do with my clients.  My clients have access to the very latest technologies in the form of extremely useful assessments, super relevant resource books & workbooks, individual therapy, and group therapy. 

Help must take the long view!  Addictions develop over years, so they are not dismantled over night. The very best help takes the long view with structure and supportive tools and systems that extend over the entire length of recovery work and new life patterns.  Unless Dr. Oz finds something better, the better thing now requires the long view and long-term work to freely make your own decisions about your sexuality, and so your life.  People who embrace this process are finding freedom to be a reality for them.  And it is happening everyday.  Call today for hope and help.