Can A Relationship Go Back To Normal After Infidelity?
Have you ever been in a relationship wherein one or both partners have been unfaithful? If so, you probably know how difficult it is to get things back to normal.
But as challenging as it may be to restore the trust, love, and affection that you once had for each other, there is life after infidelity, no matter the type. Here are some suggestions on how you could mend a damaged relationship, whether you are the victim or the guilty party.
What You Can Do If You’ve Been Unfaithful
If you are the one who has been unfaithful, the responsibility for repairing the relationship largely lies with you. But, of course, the partner that has been cheated on will have a role to play as well. In order for things to go back to the way they were, both partners will have to work together to foster a more mutually beneficial relationship and iron out any problems that led the cheating partner to stray in the first place.
This is not to say that the victim of infidelity should accept blame for the incident. On the contrary, in the overwhelming majority of cases, the cheating partner is solely responsible for the deterioration of the relationship. As such, it is largely up to them to make things right.
Here are some things you could do to help repair the relationship if you have been unfaithful:
- Allow your partner to vent as much–and as often–as they require. This makes them feel that they have a right to be heard and express their feelings freely.
- Allow sufficient time for the relationship to heal. Don’t rush the process or resent your partner for being unable to “move on” according to your schedule.
- Avoid trying to justify your actions or defend yourself when your partner vents. Know whether your partner needs encouragement or needs to blow off steam. Sometimes silence is the best policy.
- Don’t act overly solicitous to your partner or seem too desperate to please. It is always best to act naturally while being considerate of their feelings.
- Be open about your activities. As much as possible, communicate where you are and what you’re doing when you aren’t at home or work.
- Implement a policy of complete transparency. Now is not the time to insist on privacy or personal space. If necessary, consider sharing access to your email, cellphone, and social media accounts.
In general, you will want to be genuinely remorseful about your actions without groveling or being excessively meek or obsequious. Remember, you are trying to make up for what you’ve done to show that you deserve to be an equal part of the relationship again.
What You Can Do If Your Partner Has Been Unfaithful
If you are on the receiving end of infidelity, it is up to your partner to make amends and work to regain your trust. But, as mentioned previously, you still have a role to play in repairing the relationship. Here are some things you can do to work your way through the difficult aftermath of infidelity:
- Resist the urge to ask about the incident. Of course, some curiosity is to be expected, but it is generally best not to ask your partner about the infidelity in detail. Doing so will only cause you to relive the pain and question your own role in the betrayal.
- Don’t seek revenge. Getting back at your partner will only lead to more pain and anguish on both sides. If you are committed to making the relationship work, you should instead focus your energies on building trust rather than causing more damage.
- Express your desire to fix the relationship. Even partners guilty of wrongdoing deserve to know that the relationship is worth saving. Communicating your desire to work things out will give them a goal to work towards and encourage them to work harder to rebuild the bond between you.
It can be argued that two people can never go back to being exactly the same after a partner has been unfaithful. But many couples have proven that it is possible to have a caring and loving relationship after infidelity.
It will take a lot of hard work and trust on both sides, as well as a strong desire to stay together. And, of course, the offending partner will have to show genuine remorse and carry the weight of fixing the damage caused by their actions. But with time and cooperation, it is possible to enjoy life together after infidelity.