Intimacy During Recovery – Is it Possible?
There are plenty of misconceptions when it comes to intimacy during recovery. Many people seem to think that once they admit to sexual addiction and seek help through recovery, they will never be allowed to have sex again. This simply isn’t true.
There are many actions that need to take place before you can become intimate with a partner, but rest assured – the day will come, once you have become a healthier, happier you.
Understanding and accepting sexual addiction
The first step in recovery is understanding and accepting sexual addiction. Admitting you have a problem and accepting that you need to change is the hardest part. After that is done, you can start to analyze all of you addictive habits in an effort to slowly change your behavior and mentality.
There are plenty of addictive habits that signal and provoke sexual misbehavior, some of which include:
● Seeking power, control, or manipulation over your partner
● Going to great lengths to hide your actions and behavior from others
● Confusing intense emotion for intimacy and love
● Trying to avoid emotions and feelings that deeply affect you
● Focusing more on the past than on the future
Making a commitment
If some of these habits sound familiar, don’t worry. You can always change your behavior by first acknowledging its harm to you and to the people you love, and then forgiving yourself for it. Doing so opens doors for you to develop a healthy, loving commitment with a partner going forward in recovery.
Moving forward in a relationship
Once you and your partner agree to make a healthy and loving commitment to one another, built on trust and faith, then you can move forward in a relationship together. Not sure how to do this? Ask your mentors or your support group. You and your partner do not need to make this journey alone.
To move forward during recovery, you need healthy communication. This means being open and honest with each other about your thoughts, feelings, concerns, and desires. This means baring it all to each other so that you may start rebuilding a better foundation together. If you can’t be honest with one another, you won’t be able to engage in true intimacy.
Communicating clearly and effectively
To develop healthy communication, you need to communicate clearly and effectively. State your thoughts concisely and then sit quietly while your partner does the same. Allow each other the opportunity to say what you need to and explore all emotions and feelings, good and bad, with an even tone and collected attitude. Would you like some tips on rebuilding your relationship together? Read our previous blog post here.
Intimacy in recovery
Once you are able to make a commitment to each other and develop healthy communication habits, then intimacy will soon follow. Intimacy means different things to different people. Some people consider a close bond and connection as intimacy, while others think of sex. Whatever it may mean to you, you and your partner will find a connection that you never thought possible because you will have worked hard to find it together.
Ask for help
Are you struggling with sexual addiction and you would like to seek professional advice? Ask for help. At Coeur d’Alene Counseling, we help those lost in their sexual addictions by teaching you how to safely go to the source of your old wounds. Together, we will question the rules that fester you and recreate new rules that heal those wounds.
Call us today and get started down the path of recovery!