Counseling For Sex Addicts and Amends

Counseling for sex addicts and amends work is more than just helping a person stop unwanted sexual behavior. As important as stopping unwanted behavior is, repairing the relationship with your partner is more important, and doing that that requires the trust that only sobriety produces. So sex addiction counseling should always first begin helping the addict establish abstinence in order to have what is ultimately the most important – reclaiming the relationship with the addict’s partner.  

Of the Twelve Steps, Step Nine strongly directs addicts’ responsiveness to be of the highest integrity in producing amends to those harmed by their addiction. For the married sexual addict, this significantly contributes feelings that their marriage’s future is secure. There is nothing more calming than knowing one’s marriage has a future. It makes investing in the relationship worthwhile and easy. Sexual addicts have jeopardized this security.  

A very helpful amends tool is the “formal disclosure” process. Formal disclosure is a process where the addict thoroughly prepares a full disclosure of her/his acting out behavior. Clearly Step Nine’s concern is that all full disclosure preparation should assure that both the addict’s and partner’s experience is free from any possibility of injury. Thus subjecting any person to a full disclosure experience where it is unwelcome it is operating outside the safety provisions of Step Nine. Thoroughly preparing a full disclosure should always include an acceptance that if either the partner or addict is not comfortable for any reason the process should be delayed. So counseling for sex addicts and amends is an effective combination in helping addicts and their partners relationships are reclaimed.