The Difference Between Men and Women

How both partners tend to view infidelity, cheating

In this blog, we’re going to specifically look at the thought process behind sexual addiction for both men and women. Here, we are specifically dealing with straight men and women, and how they relate to each other as partners. We have discussed other relationship dynamics in other blogs, but we want to be clear about the dynamics we’re discussing here.

Men and women tend to think of sexual encounters and relationships differently. After finding out your partner has been cheating or had an affair, as a women, you may feel an incredible sense of betrayal and hurt. Infidelity in this manner — cheating with someone physically, online through chat rooms or even being addicted to porn — is often processed different by men and women. Each has a different way of thinking of the scenario. It could be helpful to each person in the relationship to understand

Her train of thought
For women, relationships go hand-in-hand with sexual interactions. Sexual and emotional attractions are intertwined with the infidelity. She wonders that since you’ve lied to her about your affair or pornography addiction, what else could you be lying to her about?

His train of thought
Men are generally better at compartmentalizing. They separate the emotions of a relationship with a spouse or significant other. They are turned on by sexual things, and pursue sex separate from emotional connections.

A note: Just because men can be more easily turned on in some circumstances does not mean they have to act on their emotions or impulses; it is not an excuse.  In fact, learning the dynamics of healthy courting will help men act on the wellbeing of themselves and their partners.    

Understanding these differing viewpoints won’t solve your problems. However, it is a step in the right direction. To continue the recovery process, we suggested meeting with a sexual addiction therapist, either as a couple or individually.