Pornography

What is Porn?

Porn or pornography is simply any sexually explicit material. Today the most common form of sexually explicit material (pornography) is found on the Internet and is often referred to as “online porn” or “Internet porn.”

Research suggests that many porn addicts spend 11 – 12 hours a week with some form of internet sex. Porn addiction can be a convenient outlet to avoid intimacy. This form of “transactional sex” is often reported to be shallow and unfulfilling over time.  This point helps shed light on the power of addiction.

“Cybersex” is a term that generally refers to any computerized sexually explicit material such as online porn.  According to the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health, approximately two million people are addicted to cyber-sexual behaviors.  As a category, cybersex includes all types of computerized sexually explicit material and behavior. Take Ashley Madison, for instance. This Internet website promotes and facilitates sexually explicit affairs, which is cybersex behavior.

By far, the number one computerized device accessing all cybersex material or behavior is the cell phone. It’s estimated that one in six cell phones is regularly used for cybersex. Other sources of pornography aresexually explicit videos, CDs, or magazines. Users of porn most often access pornography on the Internet and will occasionally patronize adult bookstores to purchase pornographic CDs and other sexually arousing material.

An important feature of problematic pornography use is the extent one goes to access it and how deeply the explicit material keeps one sexually preoccupied and aroused. Generally, porn addicts break previously established values and standards of behavior to access pornography and on their own unable to move back into those previously established boundaries. As well, they spend many hours daily preoccupied with anticipation at viewing the sexually explicit material.

It’s estimated that three of ten men have a problematic porn problem and that one of those three have an addiction to pornography. Unfortunately, some of the latest research suggests both men and women have equally developed addiction to porn.  Alone with only their cell phone for company, porn addicts are isolated from real human contact objectifying the actors and developing a chronic loss of intimacy.

New research discussed by PJ Wright, et. al. describes the relationship between viewing pornography and lower sexual satisfaction. Following approximately 1,500 adults, the research noted a correlational relationship with frequently viewing pornography and lower sexual satisfaction with sexual partners. Consuming pornography infrequently (less than once a month) had little or no impact on satisfaction, but as viewing increased dissatisfaction became a notable problem. The bottom line is that porn interferes with healthy sexuality.

Are You A Porn Addict?

If you find yourself struggling with pornography that does not necessarily make you a porn addict. Some people only watch porn without engaging in problematic sex. However, for many, their porn use is an attempt to seek a high to escape their difficult feelings.  If this is you, there is help.  Call today.  208-755-7114

If you are uncertain that you might be a sex addict, ask yourself the following questions. You may find some clarity.

  1. Do you feel as if you are inordinately preoccupied with sex? For example, when you wake up you might grab your phone, even before you get out of bed, to check your hookup app profiles, looking to see if anyone contacted you in the night. Yes   or   No
  2. Have you tried (and failed) to either cut back on or quit certain sexual behaviors altogether. For instance, you might have promised yourself (and maybe others) that you would stop looking at porn. And you might have kept those promises for a few days or maybe even a few weeks. But then, suddenly, you found yourself right back at it. Yes   or   No
  3. Have you experienced negative consequences related to your sexual behaviors? For example, related to your sexual behaviors have you ruined important relationships, struggled or been reprimanded at work or in school, gotten anxious and depressed, spent money you’d rather spend elsewhere, been arrested, or experienced other problems? Yes   or   No

If you answered yes to these three questions, there is a strong possibility you are sexually addicted. To find out more and have all your questions answered, call Ed Dudding, CSAT at 208-755-7114.

Steps to End Pornography Addiction

Professional sex addiction therapists help porn addicts deal with their feelings of shame, humiliation and embarrassment. Like any addiction, the first step is to stop all problem behaviors. Stopping the problem behaviors allows the brain to re-set and learns to live without the “high” of compulsive behaviors and obsessive thought patterns.

The combination of professional therapy by trained and experienced sexual addiction therapists and participation in 12-step programs based on compulsive sexual behavior is the most effective to overcoming a person’s compulsive and/or addictive sexual behavior.

There are many 12-Step programs devoted to overcoming compulsive sexual behavior.  They are often referred to as “S-fellowships.”  The five most known S-fellowships are Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA), Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (SCA), Sexual Recovery Anonymous (SRA), and Sexaholics Anonymous (SA).

In a Committed Relationship?

Dr. Patrick Carnes in his research learned that recovering sexual addicts who are married or in long-term committed relationships, have the highest quality of recovery when their partner committed to their personal recovery and as a couple they commit to coupleship recovery. Coeur d’Alene Counseling highly recommends coupleship recovery and individual partner recovery.  Laura Taylor specializes in working with the unique needs of partners of sexual addicts; and, as well, she is a certified EMDR therapist specializing in trauma and stress-related disorders.  She can be reached at 208-818-2619.

Recovering Couples Anonymous (RCA) is an S-fellowship 12-step program for couples. They use the metaphor of a three-legged stool to describe coupleship recovery: There is the addict’s recovery, the spouse/partner’s recovery, and the couple’s recovery. RCA offer couples the opportunity to look at relationship deficits and use Twelve Step principles for consistent and cohesive coupleship support and pathways to change. Couples that share the principles of recovery can make dramatic differences in the quality of their intimacy.

Twelve-step meetings are where a person can join an S-fellowship to discover that they are not alone and that help is available. In addition to attending 12-Step meetings, individual and group therapy is extremely helpful to teach a person to stop unwanted behaviors.  Call today.  208-755-7114

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