7 Things That Can Hinder Your Sexual Addiction Recovery

After the truth has come out, and the partner of a sexual addict knows about some or all of the problematic behaviors, there are several things that the addict needs to do to ensure they start healing and moving forward. In past blogs, we’ve discussed things the sexual addict can do to start the recovery process, including talking with a professional sex addiction therapist and working to restore trust in their relationship.

However, there are also a few things that people who have been caught cheating — either online, in person or via a pornography addiction — should avoid doing. Some of these may be inadvertent, while others may be defense mechanisms. In the end though, doing these types of things can harm the recovery process and make recovery for the partner of a sexual addict even more difficult.

Here is a list of seven things that will make recovering from sexual addiction harder:

  1. Continuing to cheat
    Much like an alcoholic can never recover if they continue to drink, continuing to cheat will harm your progress. This includes continuing to use apps or websites that aide the negative behavior. There can be no recovery if the problematic behavior continues.
  2. Continuing to lie
    In this scenario, a lie is a broad thing — it includes telling partial truths or keeping some information private through omission. When your partner learns the truth about these lies, the trust is once again violated.
  3. Not taking the blame
    Cheating in any way was the choice of the person addicted, and no one else. Thus, it is the addict’s responsibility.
  4. Expecting immediate forgiveness
    Trust takes a long time to build, and is quick to break. It will take a long time to rebuild.
  5. Trying to buy forgiveness
    This goes hand in hand with the above item — trust can only be earned one way, and that takes time and dedication.
  6. Using aggression or threats
    These could include financial or emotional threats, such as divorce or forcing your spouse or partner to accept the behavior. Instead of putting the person who cheated in a position of power, which is generally the intended result, it will continue to drive a wedge between you and your partner.
  7. Try to diminish the way your partner feels
    Diminishing the way your partner feels or trying to calm them down may work momentarily, but it will not fix the underlying issue — broken trust. This can only be fixed through hard work and a healthy healing process.

If you’re ready to start the healing process with your partner, consider professional therapy, either individually or as a couple. Contact Coeur d’Alene Counseling today to get started.